Anniversary · Love · Marriage

5 years into forever

Shane and I recently celebrated our 5th anniversary in Charleston, SC. He immediately took advantage of No Child/No Dog status and took a nap. I couldn’t sleep, so I let my thoughts and feelings wander…. Here ya go!

Who are those young, skinny babies on the left?!? A couple of young lovebirds celebrating one year of marriage!!

My hair is no longer highlighted every other month, and even though that dress still hangs in my closet, I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than fitting into it again!

However, 5 years into marriage (and 4 years after that photo) we have an absolutely gorgeous baby boy! A wonderful home where we will raise him, literally on the coast of somewhere beautiful. I have a husband who, since this photo, began and finished law school, passed the bar, and became an attorney with a great firm! We have survived many moves and job changes, as well as many fights and mood swings (mostly mine).

Five years of marriage and I see that photo and think…. geez, y’all don’t have a clue!! Haha!!!

But, the love in that photo pushed through it all. And despite the times when I didn’t stay true to my vows, when I didn’t cherish or honor my husband, but instead was a brat (I know, hard to believe right?!)… when I didn’t “have and hold” him but instead chose to harbor a grudge (I can be stubborn)… the love pushed us back together.

I’m not perfect. And at times have fallen short. I’m sure Shane would admit the same. But, despite all the downs, that love always got us through. I’ve loved this boy since he was 15. When he was “too young” for me to date, when he was still in high school and I was leaving for college… when we were young and dating but in completely different stages of our young adulthood.

No matter what happened to us, with us, or how hard we tried to push against each other… the love between us has always been inevitable.

Shane has always made me laugh, always given me butterflies, and always made me feel 100% comfortable. There’s no one on Earth I feel more myself around than him.

So, I see that picture on the left. And while I know there is so much more to a marriage than true love… (like dishes, financial responsibility, someone who will wake up at 4:00 am with the baby) I know there will also be hurt, pain, sorrow, disappointment… and while taking out the trash is nice, that’s not what softens my anger or comforts my heart when it’s breaking.

Only love can do that. True love. And that’s so evident when I see both photos! It’s also evident in all the photos since; the happy ones I post on social media. And though it may not seem like it in the moment, it’s evident in all the tough conversations, all the tears, all the eye rolls (again, mostly me), and all the hard times. Because love pushes us through those times, stronger on the other side.

Those tough times aren’t published on my timeline, but love shines in those moments too. Love looks different during those moments, but perhaps those times are when our love actually shines the most intensely.

“Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.”
-Madeleine L’Engle

After five years I’m grateful for the joyous moments, and I appreciate the mundane day to day duties, especially since becoming parents. But, love, that can’t be anyone else, you’re my person, I choose you again and again, sometimes I want to bang my head on the counter, (sometimes even your head), but I still love you, type of love: that’s what we’ve got!!! And I couldn’t ask for anything else!! I love you, baby. 143. I’m yours!

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